Repost: 23rd Psalm

[Lykos PackLeader]

Originally posted by RicLyon / 23rd Psalm

Veh
Aedin gef Orastiner:
Pernem sargonr ortikoskar gef mintav sdi,
mintav kakk troteo sdal.

Kah
Ah-koshak mintav shida sti.
Lan, ah-ruhik gef thundas abinam sti.

Eltuh
Oav urobeuela gef mintav woditav awak sti,
mintav kref rhetenam ah-koshak sti,
gef theian gef zhomek wotitav

Relah
Hwango hofa gef hoska chusif mare welek sta,
Tron degaris venirik stul,
Kref teytav lonkas gef teytav hiteo teykik mintav stul.

Jafah
Mintav beitakotak widotav ste,
pernem lunatiris gef mintav vaarik stu.
Woditav kepha alba gef mintav ah-zhurek sti.
Pernem arpara gef odosen adak gef woditav.

Vifsah
Odosen chusif lorevale gef mintav koshak stul, veh gera ah pergeras.
Chusif per kotak gef per Sargonr per kotak gef mintav sdil.

[Lykos PackLeader]

PLEASE NOTE: No posts longer than 10,000 characters. My comments & corrects, when added to Ric's previous comments add up to more than that. So this is a two-parter

Title: Aedin gef Orastiner:
Lit: Song of Orastiner.
Trans: The song of (the) Beloved

From Ric: I used the name orastiner here instead of David, but the meaning of
them are the same, the beloved one.

Notes: You could, if you wanted to, name this poor guy "Stiner," it's okay,
and a little morelikely (that' a long first name).

Or you could try: Pernem, 23rd (Kahjah-eltuh-yah) Aedin. The suffix -yah
puts the -st, -nd, etc. ending to any number.

**********************************************

Line One:
Veh-Yah: Pernem sargonr ortikoskar gef mintav sdi
Lit: The lord sheperd of I is
Trans: The Lord is my sheperd.

From Ric: Nothing really weird there?

Notes: Actually, the word "lord" refers to a secular noble. The Lord of the
Gods might not be respected among others. A better term, if you understand
me, would be "this Lord" or "this man-lord," for you've identified him (or
her, really, since "sargon" is a non-gender-specific word). And the word
"shepherd" really refers to a herd-keeper. A better and more respectful term
might be "zaittr" which means director or guide.

Corrected:
Kesm [this] Nal-sargon mintay zatir sdi.
Lit: This (adj.) man-lord my guide he-is.

Line Two:
Kah-Yah: mintav kakk troteo sdal
Lit: I want not shall be
Trans: "I shall not be want"

From Ric: Since tro means no, I made it an adverb to get not. If that is
uncorrect please forgive me. I just used all the words I could find.

My notes: I know the roblem (I have it, too, since the dictionary is not
complete. but the simplest sentence might be: Lit: I-(subj.) to-want not
shall.

Corrected:
oav Mintav [or mintoav, but you didn't know that] kakk troteo stal."
oav/no. object] i-subj. to-want not I-shall."

Line Three:
Eltuh-yah: Ah-koshak mintav shida sti
Lit: Leads-to I meadow he-does
Trans: "He leads me to the meadow"

Let's try:
"Obef [Towards] per shidas mintav zatik sti."
Lit: To the [short version] me-d.o. to-guide he-does."

No woditav or ditav needed; it's in the verb tense.
After saying that the man-lord is the party involved, you can skip
saying woditav or ditav (s/he or he) because your readers should know. But,
of course, you didnt' know that, either. I'm sorry.

Onward, I believe:

Four:
Relah-yah: Lan, ah-ruhik mintav gef thundas abinam sti
Lit: Yes, lie-to me of waters musical he does
Trans: "Indeed, he makes me lie by musical waters"

Comments: actually, "deezh" is a good word to use right in front of
"lan," for it's an intensifier. And it's used in front of verbs and in front
of other words to make them "more."

Try: "Deezh-lan, ruhik stal, argef thundas abianem."
Lit: d**n-yes, to-lay I-shall, at/by waters musical."
*Close actually, I think*

Five:
Jafah-yah: Oav urobeuela gef mintav woditav awak sti
Lit: Imortal spirit of me s/he awakes he does
Trans: He awakens my soul"

This looks really weird, but I treid putting "oav" so you could know
that it's not the rod who wakes up, but the soul.

In a word: oops. (gare). urobeuela actually means "immortal wind-
spirit" and not soul (but you don't know the word for it, do you?). If
you'll look at the word "pohoikoatvangar," the word for soul is in there:
oikoat. Sorry for the mixup.

corrected:
Jafah-yah: Woditav mintay oikoat [my soul] awak sti
Lit: S/He my soul to-awake s/he/ir does.
Trans: S/He awakens my soul"

to be continued in the next post.....

[Lykos PackLeader]

Note: Part II To continue this exercise (in futuility):

Six:
Vifsah:-yah: mintav kref rheteo ah-koshak sti,
Lit: I for right leads-to he does
Trans: He leads me right

Corrected (only a little):It's okay to use a dog-command, most of them are really verbs without their verb-tense. therefore:

Vifsah:-yah: Mintav Woditav usek sta, kref pernem rhet.
Lit: I(sub.) Hir to-follow I-do, for the right-power.
Trans: I follow him, for the right.

Seven:
Hesah-yah: gef theian gef zhomek wotitav
Lit: of honour of name (?) he
trans: "Of the honour of his name"

This was a tricky one, since "zhomek" looks like a verb rather than a noun. Maybe it means "to be named", buit in that case the sentence would be "Of the honour he is named", something that gives us a completely different meaning

Note: "zhomek" is a verb, and to make a noun of a verb, you take off the "k." and it becomes "zhome" instead. It means both "to-be-named" and "to name," depending on whether you're using (unknown to you) the active or
passive voice. If you replace the "t" with a "w" you end up with the passive verb tense. Again, sorry.

Corrected:
Hesah-yah: Kref per theian gef Woditay Zhoma
Lit: For the honour of Hir name
trans: "For the honour of Hir name"

Eight:
Dokah-yah: Hwango hofa gef hoska chusif mare welek sta
Lit: When valley of shadow and dark walk I-do
Trans: When I walk the valley of darkness and shadow"

Nine:
Gih-yah: Tron degaris venirik stul,
Lit: No demons come they will
Trans: "No demons will come"

Tron, adv. of tro should be the same as troteo, but I used troteo in a way it made look like "nothing". I decided to use tron here, but I guess there are proper words for the words.

Notes:
You are right, there aren't the words for this to be properly translated. I never expected anyone to take the initiative and translate something with complete thoughts. Originally, Litaja was used only in a RPG role. And I guess I always meant to do more with it, but never really had a moment. I apologize for that.

I'm curious about the "tron" reference; maybe if I understand what you were trying to say. The line is, I believe, "yea, though I walk throught the valley of the shadow and the death, no harm shall come to me.," or something like that.

Maybe we should say:
Gih-yah: Pernem degaris mintav tro avenirik stul,
Lit: the demons no me to-come they-will
Trans: "No demons will come to me.

Ten:
Dokalah-yah: Kref Teytav chusif lonkas gef teytav hiteo teykik stul.
Lit: For thou and spears of thine here guard here they-do
Trans: "For you and your spears will guard me here"

this not bad, but let's be more dramatic, shall we? Can we, or should we leave "well enough" alone? Just tell me what you think....

Dokalah-yah: Kref Antav chusif Antay lonkas teykik hiteo styl.
Lit: For thou and Thy spears to-guard here you-all-will.
Trans: "For Thou and thy spears will guard me here"

eleven:
Vehrih-yah: Kref mintav beitakotak widotav ste
Lit: For me food-place you you-do
Trans: "You do me a table"

How about "you show me a table"? Or simply food?

Corrected:
Vehrih-yah: Mintav beitachusif temeta trohek ste."
Lit: Me food and wine to-show you-do
Trans: "You show me food & wine."

Twelve:
Kahrih-yah: Pernem lunatiris gef mintav vaarik stu
Lit: The thieves of mine see they do
Trans: "... my thieves (enemies) see"

Notes:
Nice, but you're being too nice to these despicable scummy
people. What about "dishonoured ones"? Or perhaps "rejected ones"? Or even simply "strangers," which automatically puts them "outside" your guardian's
benevolence.

Let's try:
Kahrih-yah: "Pernem jefiris varrik stul."
Lit: The strangers to-see they-do.
Trans: "... (that) the strangers (can) see.

Thirteen:
Eltuhrih-yah: Woditav kepha alba gef mintav ah-zhurek sti
Lit: You head milk of me give you do
Trans: "You give me milk on my head"

I used milk here instaed of oil because of two reasons, firstly because there was no oil word, secondly milk is the giver of life for wolves as the oil was the devine giving of life the hebrews received.

Notes: I understand why you did this, but maybe we should ask why "God" is pouring oil on your head. A true Lykoshan would look at that, and say "yuck." He's giving you a blessing, isn't He? Let's say simply: "I am your
ally," a far greater gift than simple good and drink. Ste seynikk? And I add a word, I should have long ago. Eileoteo means: for always, or forever.

Corrected:
Eltuhrih-yah: Antav mintav trohek zenatis eileoteo
Lit: You me show guest-rights you-do, for-always
Trans: You show me I am welcome [in thy House], forever..

Fourteen:
Relarih-yah: Pernem arpara gef odosen adak gef woditav
Lit: The mouth of goodness drink of you
Trans: "I my mouth I drink your goodness"
...meaning "My mouth is full of your blessings", I think. It looks stupid but the wolves would probably understand lol.

I agree about wolves understanding blessings to be drunk up, or eaten.

So okay, but how about: "I drink (up) your goodness"? Might we use:

Relarih-yah: "Mintav Antay odoses adak sta.
Lit: I your-goodnesses to-drink I-do.
Trans: "I drink (up) your goodnesses (surely there's more than one?)

Fifteen:
Jafarih-yah: Odosen chusif lorevale mintav koshak stul, veh gera ah pergeras
Lit: Goodness and "spring" me lead they do, one day to "all days - the calendar"
Trans: "goodness and spring lead me, all the days"

Notes: Boy you could really use "forever" (eileteo) right about now, couldn't you? And spring-time is good, but it's getting a little wordy. "Surely goodness & mercy shall follow me all the days of my life" might have to become: For goodnesses & mercy [peace?] will me forever."

Corrected:
Jafarih-yah: for Odoses chu odinas mintav usek stul, eileteo."
Lit: For goodnesses & [chu is the short version of "chusif"] peace/harmony me to-follow they-will, for-always."
Trans: "For goodnesses & peace will follow me, forever."

Sixteen:
Vifsarih-yah: Chusif per kotak gef per Sargonr per kotak gef mintav sdil.
Uroben geras.
Lit: And the place of the Lord the place of me will be
Everlasting days
Trans: "The house of the Lord will be my house.
Forever."

Last notes: All peoples at the home to Litaja live in clanholds. I know that's unclear in the Litaja text, but as always, I wasn't expecting ...well, you know. As always, I should have known, but I didn't.

Corrected:
Vifsarih-yah:
Chusif pernem kota gef kesm Sargonnr mintay kota sdil. Eileteo.
Lit: And the place of this Lord my place it-will-be. For-always.
Trans: "And the house of this Lord will be my house. Forever."

Yansha, you did very well. The only corrections I really had to make were ones of syntax and sentence structure. That along with more words known to you would have been the perfect combination. Again, you did very well, considering what you had to work with.

Litaja is a very strict language. Verb tense last, unless there's another complete thought, attached with a conjunction or with a preposition. Even if the sentence that it translates is in English and being poetic, it isn't.

I hope this helps. I will work harder on transcribing.....